Ministry Mindset in handling conflict feat. John Riley (E5/S3)

Guest John Riley is back to talk about how to approach conflict with a ministry mindset. This can be done in conflict if on a church security team or in other interpersonal conflicts. Last season he joined us for: De-escalation: gentle response. (E7/S2). John draws from his experience in the military and police force, and blends in Biblical relational principles. 
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1918177/1490345

John shared many useful tips in approaching conflict, and challenged us to think of these interactions from God's perspective. What makes you so sure that God did not put you in that place at that time to minister to that person? 

They are still a child of God, even if they may be misinformed or misled or different than you. You will never look into the eyes of someone God does not want.

Are you developing a ministry mindsight, so that when you do encounter another child of God, who may be misinformed or misled, you are at least planting a seed in their life that someone else can water.

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire."

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Do everything in love.."
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 ESV

Transcript

Guest John Riley is back to talk about how to approach conflict with a ministry mindset. This can be done in conflict if on a church security team or in other interpersonal conflicts. Last season he joined us for: De-escalation: gentle response. (E7/S2). John draws from his experience in the military and police force to help guide church security teams and others, blending in Biblical relational principles.

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire."  John's business is called Gentle Response, and more info can be found here:  https://gentle-response.com

Some of the lessons shared are to be ministry minded, a peace maker:

• Have a baseline feel for how a person normally responds, or what is their personality.
• Recognize when you need to disengage from a situation.
• Slow down and assess the situation, e.g. does this person need to be engaged?
• When you have an opportunity to break contact with a threating person, break off contact.
• Don't talk down to someone like they are a child (watch your tone and attitude)
• Don't talk to people like they are stupid.
• Don't talk to people like they are supposed to be afraid of you.
• Talk with a low tone of voice. Just because someone else is being rude, loud and obnoxious does not mean you need to do the same. 
• Humor is a good de-escalation tool, make light of their comments if appropriate.
• Don't take offense.

What makes you so sure that God did not put in that place at that time to minister to that person.  They are still a child of God. You will never look into the eyes of someone God does not want. Are you an example? Are you an inspiration. We are supposed to be new creatures. Are you light in a dark world? We are trying to make a difference?  Stressful situations are ministry opportunities. You  will not always get it right, but are you at least trying to get it right?

Are you developing a ministry mindsight, so that when you do encounter another child of  God, who may be misinformed or misled, you are at least planting a seed in their life that someone else can water.

Scripture in 2 Corinthians 5 talks about as Christians we have a Ministry of Reconciliation. Chad shared a book he found helpful on this same subject is Living Reconciled:  Seven Ways to Bring Peace to Your Most Difficult Relationships by P. Brian Noble

John has recently written a book called A Gentle Response: Conflict De-escalation With A Ministry Mindset.

The purpose of our podcast is to help each other be better leaders, husbands and fathers for God's glory. Our discussions are based on elements from the Men's Ministry at Hillcrest Christian Reformed Church in Hudsonville, MI. For more information about us, check our website and hillcrestcrc.org